It flew out the window....

Many people in my life often question the reason why I rarely create any artwork.

It is not because I am just too "damn lazy."

As an art teacher, how do you explain to people that you do not make any art in your spare time?

It is not easy. It does not come across as making much sense.

Interestingly enough, today I had a little bit of time with the art teacher from the middle school in my district. We are about the same age, she is maybe three years older than me. I like her a lot. She is very blunt. We were discussing creativity and I confessed about my inability to feel a desire to do any art. We then began to level with each other on the constraints and demands of our jobs. We discussed how as art teachers, we are forced to use the side of our brain that is completely unnatural for us to use. Rather than be impulsive and spontaneous, we must be planned and rational. Rather than be in a completely disorganized and inspiring environment we are expected to become organized and methodical in how we manage a room. These tasks may seem natural to many other teachers, and possibly a few art teachers here and there. I would like to think that art teachers have a difficult time meeting these demands though.

I find that as an art teacher, the amount of creativity I have is distributed to the students in my classes on a daily basis. Maybe since I have been teaching for three years now, I am beginning to feel more selfish? All I know is that something is stirring.. and I am beginning to be awakened and feel the void of my complete lack of self exploration in my own endeavors.

Maybe it didn't really all fly out the window just yet...